Long-Distance Relationship Cheating Statistics: What the Research Shows
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How common is cheating in long-distance relationships? Every figure here comes with its source, date and sample, and what it actually measures.
You typed the question at an hour when you probably should have been asleep. Maybe your partner just moved for a job, or you're about to start a semester three states apart, and someone told you long-distance couples always end up cheating. You want a number, and you want to know whether it's real.
Most pages that answer this question list a dozen statistics with no source at all. This one does the opposite: fewer figures, each with who measured it, when, on how many people, and what kind of source it is.
Short answer: The research doesn't show that long-distance couples cheat more. The only peer-reviewed study we found that compares the two directly (Goldsmith and Byers, 2018) reports a similar likelihood of sexual activity outside the relationship in long-distance and geographically close couples. The most quoted figure, 22% of people reporting some form of cheating in a long-distance relationship, comes from a 2021 online survey released by a sex toy review site, not from a scientific study.
Below: the figures, source by source, then what they mean together, and the numbers you'll see elsewhere that we couldn't trace.
The figures, source by source
22% reported some form of cheating (SexualAlpha survey, 2021)
What it says. In a press release dated January 13, 2022, the website SexualAlpha reported that "22% of respondents reported some form of cheating in their long-distance relationships." The same release states that "the rate of infidelity in long-distance relationships is similar to proximal relationships."
Who and how many. SexualAlpha says it asked 7,392 people in the United States whether they had been in a long-distance relationship. 1,814 said yes, and 1,174 completed the full survey. Fieldwork ran from March 11 to August 12, 2021.
What to keep in mind. SexualAlpha describes itself as a sex toy review and sexuality magazine. The release doesn't explain how people were recruited, whether the results were weighted, or which group the 22% is calculated on. "Some form of cheating" is broad: other sites that repeat it list secrets, flirting and dates alongside sex. And the comparison with close relationships comes with no figure for close relationships. It's the number everyone cites, and it's the weakest one on this page.
The same release is also the origin of the headline "only 31% of relationships survive long distance." In the body of the release, the 31% refers to respondents who had closed the distance and moved back together, which isn't the same as a survival rate.
Similar rates of outside sexual activity (Goldsmith and Byers, 2018)
What it says. Kaitlyn Goldsmith and E. Sandra Byers published a study in the Canadian Journal of Human Sexuality in 2018. In their first study, young adults in long-distance relationships and in geographically close relationships answered the same online survey. The authors report that both groups "had similar satisfaction, a similar likelihood of engaging in extradyadic sexual activity," meaning sexual activity with someone outside the relationship.
Who and how many. 232 people in long-distance relationships and 263 in geographically close ones, all young adults.
The twist. In a second study, 626 other young adults were asked to rate a hypothetical couple. Observers expected distance to hurt the sexual relationship more than people living it actually reported. In other words, people imagine long distance as riskier than those in it describe.
What to keep in mind. It's a young, online sample, not a national one. But it's the only peer-reviewed comparison of infidelity between the two kinds of couples we could trace to its source.
10% physical, 15% emotional, and a "distance danger zone" (BYU thesis, 2016)
What it says. Krista Joy Dowdle's master's thesis at Brigham Young University, titled "Out of Sight, Out of Mind," looked at 1,333 college students in exclusive dating relationships. Overall, 10% reported physical cheating, 15% emotional cheating, and 6% both.
The distance finding. Compared with partners in the same city, partners living 11 to 200 miles apart had a 31% higher likelihood of physical cheating. Beyond 200 miles, the likelihood dropped slightly. The author calls this middle range a "distance danger zone": close enough to see other people regularly on your own, far enough not to see your partner every day. For physical cheating, the link with distance held only for women. For emotional cheating, distance was linked to a higher likelihood for both men and women.
What to keep in mind. It's a master's thesis, not a peer-reviewed article, and the sample is college students. The 31% is a relative increase in likelihood, not a share of people who cheated. We read the published abstract, not the full statistical tables.
Long-distance couples break up at the same rate (Kelmer and colleagues, 2013)
This one isn't about cheating, but it answers the question behind the question. In a study published in Family Process in 2013, Gretchen Kelmer and colleagues at the University of Denver followed a nationally representative sample of 870 people. Those in long-distance relationships reported higher relationship quality and more dedication than those living close. They also thought a breakup was less likely, yet by the follow-up they had broken up at the same rate as close-proximity couples.
Reunions are a risky moment (Stafford, Merolla and Castle, 2006)
A study in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, published in 2006, followed long-distance dating couples through the move back to the same place. Among couples who reunited, one third ended within three months. Participants described heightened conflict and jealousy, and less autonomy, after the distance closed. Worth knowing if you're counting down to the day you finally live in the same city: the end of the distance is its own test.
What these numbers mean together
Put side by side, the sources tell a consistent story, and it's more reassuring than the internet suggests.
Distance isn't the main driver. The one peer-reviewed comparison finds no difference in outside sexual activity, and the most cited survey, for all its limits, says the same thing.
Medium distance may be the tricky one. If the thesis is right, a partner a couple of hours' drive away, with a full independent social life, faces more temptation than one on another continent. That's a hypothesis from one student sample, not a law.
Emotional cheating is the form distance encourages most. In the BYU data, distance was linked to more emotional cheating for both sexes. When you only share a screen, someone who shares your partner's actual evenings can become important fast. Our guide to emotional cheating covers what that looks like.
Definitions change everything. "Some form of cheating" (SexualAlpha), "extradyadic sexual activity" (Goldsmith and Byers) and "physical cheating" (BYU) don't measure the same thing. Comparing them as if they did is how 22% becomes a scary headline. If you and your partner aren't sure where your own line is, start with what counts as cheating in a relationship.
For figures on cheating in general, not just at a distance, see our page on cheating statistics. The same kind of question comes up for military spouses during deployment, where separation is longer and less chosen.
Numbers we couldn't trace
You'll see these on many pages. We looked for their origin and didn't find a primary source, so they're not used here.
"40% of long-distance relationships end in a breakup" or "the average long-distance relationship lasts 4.5 months." Widely repeated, usually credited to a "Center for the Study of Long Distance Relationships." We found no study or report behind them.
"Two-thirds of long-distance couples never meet in person." No source found.
Any figure presented as a "study" with no author, date or sample. If a page can't tell you who asked the question and how many people answered, treat the number as decoration.
When the statistic isn't the real question
A percentage can tell you whether to worry about long distance in general. It can't tell you anything about your relationship. If you're reading this because something specific changed, such as calls getting shorter, visits being pushed back, or a dating app your partner was supposed to have deleted, the numbers won't settle it.
What can help is looking at what's actually going on. Our guide on how to catch a cheater in a long-distance relationship goes through the signs that matter at a distance and how to talk about them on a call. If the worry is a dating profile, the city your partner lives in is the one thing distance doesn't hide. CheatEye searches Tinder, and with the paid option Bumble, Hinge, Happn and OkCupid, for a profile matching a first name, an age, a gender and a city. If one comes up, you see the bio, photos and last activity, and the person isn't told. A result is a starting point for a conversation, not a verdict on the relationship.
Frequently asked questions
What percentage of long-distance relationships involve cheating? The most cited figure is 22%, from a 2021 online survey of Americans who had been in a long-distance relationship, released by SexualAlpha in January 2022. It covers "some form of cheating", a broad definition, and the method isn't published in detail.
Is cheating more common in long-distance relationships? The research we could trace says no. A 2018 peer-reviewed study (Goldsmith and Byers) found a similar likelihood of outside sexual activity in long-distance and geographically close relationships.
What are the chances of cheating in a long-distance relationship? No reliable study gives individual odds. A 2016 BYU thesis on 1,333 college students found 10% reported physical cheating and 15% emotional cheating overall, with the highest risk of physical cheating at 11 to 200 miles apart.
Do long-distance relationships last? A 2013 study of 870 people found long-distance couples broke up at the same rate as couples living close, even though they rated their relationships higher. The move back together is a sensitive time: in a 2006 study, a third of reunited couples ended within three months.
Where does the "only 31% survive" statistic come from? From the headline of SexualAlpha's January 2022 press release. In the release itself, 31% is the share of respondents who had closed the distance and rejoined their partner, not a measure of how many relationships survive.
